Today was a special day, I found out that one of my dearest friends is pregnant. I'm so happy for her! And I'm so excited. It's really sorta bittersweet for me, both of my best friends are having children. I love my best friends, and I love their children, but it does make me miss my Aaden so much! He should be here, growing up with them. He would be like their big brother. I know it will be bittersweet for me to watch all my old friends having their children, while my arms are empty though I've carried my love inside my belly and felt him move. Probably will continue to be that way up until I have myself another child. But even another child will never take the place of Aaden, even though I will love my next child just as much! I know one day my God will give me another child on this earth! And one glad morning, I will hold my beautiful angel baby in Heaven as well!
In a little over two months it will make TWO years since I bore my son into this world and buried him the next day. Two years since I felt him kick for the first time, and several weeks later will make two years since I last felt him kick. It really does seem unreal...seems like only yesterday I was watching the little lumps rise and fall on my belly. Although I am doing emotionally better, I do still miss my son as much as that day nearly two years ago, that he was buried. I still will be driving down the road and turn around to look in the backseat, half expecting to see him there. Or at least imagining what it would be like if he were. I still sometimes feel a little tug at my heart when I see a little blonde haired toddler who is about the age Aaden would be now. And I still even break down and cry sometimes. I wish so bad I could hold him now. But I must remember there is a reason for everything. God knew how great of a mother I would've been to my little darling, so I know there must've been a great reason beyond my understanding that he took him on up to be in HIS arms. At least I know my son is happy as he could be, playing with the angels. Way out of dangers reach. What better babysitter could you ask for than JESUS Himself?! I just know that one day I will get home from work on this Earth, and God will hand him back over to me. Oh what a glorious day that will be!